me and cancer plus the LORD

A few months back I was asked to speak to our county's "Relay for Life" and I just want to share what I said with you as an encouragement for those dealing with cancer and their family and friends. I really do pray that this helps.

I first found out I had colon cancer in 2002. I had a colon resection and the news was good. The doctor said he had gotten it all, there was no cancer found around the colon or in my lymph nodes. He said I was "cured", no more cancer. That was a great celebration! We were praising God and thanking Him for the great things He had done. I'm still praising HIm and thanking Him for the great things He has done. But...And that's a big but. The cancer came back in 2004. It is still colon cancer but it came back in my liver. Not a good thing. I have stage 4 colon cancer, definitely not a good thing. I have had chemo since August of 2004. So it's been 4 years of chemo off and on. I think more on than off. They watch my tumor marker and do CT scans. When my tumor marker is up, I have chemo, when my tumor marker is down, I'm on a break.

My first doctor told me I had gunk in my liver that didn't belong there. I recently seen a sign at a Shell station that said, "do you have gunk? Come in and let us get rid of it for you>" I'm wondering what they would do if I came in and asked them to get rid of the "gunk" in my liver?

I've had some really dark days, days when I question, why Lord, why me? Then it comes to me, well, why not me? I'm not any more special than anyone else. Other people have cancer, why not me too? It could have kept me down, it could have kept me shut up in my house, it could make me bitter but then the cancer would win, it would defeat me. I'm not letting anything as nasty and devastating as cancer, defeat me. It may one day take my life here on earth but it's not going to take the joy I have in living away from me now.

God has given each of us a great gift. He has given us the gift of life. None of us know when our life here on earth will be over. Not those of us with cancer. Or those who have had cancer or those who will have cancer or those who will never have cancer. The doctors don't know, they can give you an educated guess but I prefer not to ask those questions because I know only God knows when He'll be ready to bring me home.

Tonight is a celebration of life. Celebrate the lives of those we've lost to cancer, they've touched our lives in special ways, they've taught us things we might never have learned without them. Celebrate the lives of those who have had cancer and have recovered or are on the road to recovery. Life certainly takes on new meaning when you have beaten cancer. Celebrate the lives of those who are living with cancer right now. Each day holds new joy and challenges to overcome for all of us.

God has given me so many blessings in the past 6 years. He has shown me what a dear husband and special family I have. Just in the past 4 years He has given me three more grandchildren, so now I have 6 grandchildren ranging in ages 8 years old down to almost 1 year old. My Christian family is also very special to
me. They are constantly praying for me, sending me cards and asking me how I am. I have met so many special people, people I would never have met or known if I didn't have cancer. The doctors, nurses and techs who care for me, other cancer patients. I love them all. I have done things I would never have done if I didn't have cancer. My love, compassion and caring for others has grown. I lead a lady's bible study in our church, I spoke at our church's lady's banquet and something I would never have dreamed I would do in my entire life, I spoke to a group of second year med. students from the Washington University med. school in St. Louis. (My doctor is also a professor there.) I don't even have a college education. That was pretty cool. And then, here I am, speaking to you. There are so namy more blessings He's given me.

Another blessing, all of you. I know many of you have prayed for me and others with cancer and I want to thank you for your prayers and concern. Keep on praying, for us and keep on praying for that cure that we'll some day have.

The biggest blessing of all. This cancer has been a good thing because it's brought me closer to Jesus Christ!

I'm going to close with a verse from the bible that has special meaning for me. John 11:4 When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it.

I just want to glorify You, God

This was written July 11, 2008.