Earlier I mentioned that I hadn't been feeling too well. One problem I am having is a very tight feeling in my stomach. Like I am eating too much and can't get any relief from it. I keep hoping the doctor has a pill or something to help me. It's just making me miserable. I'm up late again feeling that way and God has a way of talking to me at times like this, if I choose to listen. This evening I am listening. I'm depending on the wrong person or thing to help me. I knew that but I wasn't listening. "COME TO ME, ALL OF YOU WHO ARE TIRED AND HAVE HEAVY LOADS, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST." MATTHEW 11:28 I'm sorry Lord, I am not a very good listener. My doctor is only human, he can't work miracles but You can and do. All I need is You Lord.
Satan is very good at blinding me to what I need and who to listen to. No matter how I feel, I can't quit reading my bible. His Word is alive and talking to me but I don't hear it if I don't read it.
That's all I want to say for now.
In Christ, Vicki
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
A modge podge for sure
I don't know how this is going to turn out. I'm just pecking out the letters. This chemo has affected the use of my right hand.
It seems like a lot has happened since my last blog but then nothing has happened. My health hasn't been too well since then but the Lord has sent many blessings my way. That counts for more than anything! My family, my Christian family is the best that the Lord could have given me.
We're having a wedding this year. My daughter, Krista, is marrying a nice man, Brian. He has an 8yr. old son whose name is Troy. So two new additions to our family, a son-in-law and a grandson. The boys keep outdoing the girls. 2 sweet girls and 5 wild boys. What fun it is when they all get together. We had a good Christmas. Everyone was here except Brian and Troy. It just so happens his family celebrates Christmas at the same time. Something will have to change next Christmas, uh? The kids brought in most of the food, so that was a very good thing. We all got too many gifts. No one can be that good, can they?
There have been other special blessings and surprises but I won't mention them right now but believe me, they brought tears to my eyes.
Before I get too frustrated with my typing let me update you on Mac the bulldog. He gets so excited to visit my parents when I go for chemo. He stays with them. He's jumping and acts like a little kid getting to see his grandparents but then when we come back to get him, he's ready to see us. He just about knocks you down in his excitement. He seems to enjoy this cold weather to some extent. I would really like to see what he would do with a few inches of snow but we haven't had that this year. He chews everything within reach of his big mouth so a lot of things are up higher than they should normally be. We love him, so that's what counts with him.
Sorry, this isn't so great but maybe it will get me back in the groove soon.
Love Vicki
It seems like a lot has happened since my last blog but then nothing has happened. My health hasn't been too well since then but the Lord has sent many blessings my way. That counts for more than anything! My family, my Christian family is the best that the Lord could have given me.
We're having a wedding this year. My daughter, Krista, is marrying a nice man, Brian. He has an 8yr. old son whose name is Troy. So two new additions to our family, a son-in-law and a grandson. The boys keep outdoing the girls. 2 sweet girls and 5 wild boys. What fun it is when they all get together. We had a good Christmas. Everyone was here except Brian and Troy. It just so happens his family celebrates Christmas at the same time. Something will have to change next Christmas, uh? The kids brought in most of the food, so that was a very good thing. We all got too many gifts. No one can be that good, can they?
There have been other special blessings and surprises but I won't mention them right now but believe me, they brought tears to my eyes.
Before I get too frustrated with my typing let me update you on Mac the bulldog. He gets so excited to visit my parents when I go for chemo. He stays with them. He's jumping and acts like a little kid getting to see his grandparents but then when we come back to get him, he's ready to see us. He just about knocks you down in his excitement. He seems to enjoy this cold weather to some extent. I would really like to see what he would do with a few inches of snow but we haven't had that this year. He chews everything within reach of his big mouth so a lot of things are up higher than they should normally be. We love him, so that's what counts with him.
Sorry, this isn't so great but maybe it will get me back in the groove soon.
Love Vicki
Monday, December 15, 2008
A Christmas prayer
I decided to blog this because it's that time of year and my husband says, "what do you want for Christmas"? Of course he's meaning material things and I really can't think of anything I want or need because he'll get me anything at any time and it certainly doesn't have to be Christmas. He's a nice guy and has me thoroughly spoiled anyway. Did I ever tell you, he's really sweet? God gave me a good one.
I do have things I wish and pray for though. Here is that list and it's in very random order, as are my thoughts.
When I'm having chemo I look at all the chairs and think of all the people sitting in those chairs and the ones that have and will sit in those chairs. I pray that God will one day allow a cure for all cancers. I pray that those chairs will sit empty and gather dust. That the cancer victims and their families and friends will be out dancing in the streets and praising our glorious Savior for the cure. This is the hard part; I also think of all the faces of all the people over the past 4 and 1/2 yrs. that I met and seen that are no longer with us. I pray that their families feel the love of Christ wrapped all around them. Because I know it's there.
I pray for unity in God's family. Can you imagine what it would be like if all of Christ' family was truly one? Instead of picking at the little things that don't matter, we are united in the big things that do. We work as one unit for the glory of Christ. A unified body of Christ can accomplish anything. Abortion could be stopped. Families would be what God intended, one man and one woman raising a family to the glory of God. All children raised in a loving home with caring parents, two of them. Christians taking the truth to millions of people. The list goes on. UNITED we can do God's will. That picture is awe inspiring.
A very personal prayer; My children and their spouses, my precious, precious grandchildren all having Christ as their personal Savior. I pray that each one of them reaches out and finds Him and sees their great need for Him. I pray that Christ never lets up on them until they come to Him. Thankfully, some of them do know Him and their need for Him but some of them don't understand. Please Lord, open the eyes of their hearts. Give my children the wisdom they need to raise their families in these very troubling times. Lord I pray that each one of my grandchildren come to know and love You and accept You as their Savior.
Thank you for my husband. He's had to put up with a lot over the last few years especially and he never seems to lose patience with me. He's not afraid to take care of me and he's always gone with me to all the chemo and doctor's visits. That reminds me; Thank you for my doctors and nurses. For giving them the wisdom and knowledge in caring and treating this cancer. I pray that I've been a witness for You through all the times I've been with them.
Thank you for Jesus! He is the reason for this beautiful Christmas season. May we all seek Him and find Him this Christmas!
If anyone reads this, now it's your turn: what is your Christmas list?
By the way, I do like receiving material gifts. ha
Vicki
I do have things I wish and pray for though. Here is that list and it's in very random order, as are my thoughts.
When I'm having chemo I look at all the chairs and think of all the people sitting in those chairs and the ones that have and will sit in those chairs. I pray that God will one day allow a cure for all cancers. I pray that those chairs will sit empty and gather dust. That the cancer victims and their families and friends will be out dancing in the streets and praising our glorious Savior for the cure. This is the hard part; I also think of all the faces of all the people over the past 4 and 1/2 yrs. that I met and seen that are no longer with us. I pray that their families feel the love of Christ wrapped all around them. Because I know it's there.
I pray for unity in God's family. Can you imagine what it would be like if all of Christ' family was truly one? Instead of picking at the little things that don't matter, we are united in the big things that do. We work as one unit for the glory of Christ. A unified body of Christ can accomplish anything. Abortion could be stopped. Families would be what God intended, one man and one woman raising a family to the glory of God. All children raised in a loving home with caring parents, two of them. Christians taking the truth to millions of people. The list goes on. UNITED we can do God's will. That picture is awe inspiring.
A very personal prayer; My children and their spouses, my precious, precious grandchildren all having Christ as their personal Savior. I pray that each one of them reaches out and finds Him and sees their great need for Him. I pray that Christ never lets up on them until they come to Him. Thankfully, some of them do know Him and their need for Him but some of them don't understand. Please Lord, open the eyes of their hearts. Give my children the wisdom they need to raise their families in these very troubling times. Lord I pray that each one of my grandchildren come to know and love You and accept You as their Savior.
Thank you for my husband. He's had to put up with a lot over the last few years especially and he never seems to lose patience with me. He's not afraid to take care of me and he's always gone with me to all the chemo and doctor's visits. That reminds me; Thank you for my doctors and nurses. For giving them the wisdom and knowledge in caring and treating this cancer. I pray that I've been a witness for You through all the times I've been with them.
Thank you for Jesus! He is the reason for this beautiful Christmas season. May we all seek Him and find Him this Christmas!
If anyone reads this, now it's your turn: what is your Christmas list?
By the way, I do like receiving material gifts. ha
Vicki
Monday, December 8, 2008
Chemo today and Mac's adventures
Another monday, another chemo. It's busy today. Everyone getting ready for the Christmas rush, I guess. They're closed so much over the Christmas and New Year's holiday that everyone trys to get their chemo in before then. I'll have chemo again on the 22nd, just a few days before Christmas. I've never had chemo so close to Christmas before. Our family's Christmas eve get together will be a challenge this year. I'll just have to learn to accept more help, won't I? Or delegate more this year. Be bossy, ha. My chemo is going well today, so far. I've barely begun. They're running behind with all that are here. I'm afraid it will be really late before I get done today. It was icy on the way here today but I seemed to miss it. God is good. He always watches over us when we come and go here.
Mac had an eventful week this week. He was a naughty boy. I forgave him but barely. I have to keep reminding myself that he's still just a puppy. He'll be 10 months old next week. On to his naughtiness; I got a new pair of glasses less than a month before. (you know where this is heading, don't you?) Anyway, earlier this week I had laid them down on the table beside my chair and left them. Mac was sound asleep on the couch (or so I thought) but shortly after I left the room, he magically woke up and found my glasses. He found them all right. I guess he thought they were another playtoy for good ole Mac because he was playing with them. I heard a strange noise and decided I'd better check it out and sure enough, he had something he wasn't supposed to have, my glasses! I must have gasped when I said "Mac, no"! because he immediately opened his mouth and out popped my lenses, one by one and the frames layed there beside him so out of shaped it's a wonder they still looked like frames. Usually when I get on to him about having something he shouldn't have, he just chomps down faster and harder but my reaction must have stunned him because he dropped them immediately. I've been trying to find some humor in this but the humor just isn't ready to come yet. It's strange though, just a couple of years ago, my granddaughter was telling me about the time her puppy got a hold of her other grandpa's false teeth and was carrying them around in his mouth. I thought that was hilarious. I guess it's different when the shoe is on the other foot or in the different mouth. The glasses were fixable and there was just two tiny teeth marks in one of the lenses, in spots that I wouldn't be looking through anyway. He's forgiven and he's even going to get a Christmas present. I thought about giving him coal but he would have just eaten it anyway, thinking it was another toy, so where would be the punishment in that? Mom and Dad have him today and Dad is keeping his glasses up out of his reach. Mom is starting to get paranoid about leaving Mac alone. I wonder why? He's an angel puppy, when he wants to be. Mainly when he's truely asleep.
I'm beeping, so one bag down, more to go.
Mac had an eventful week this week. He was a naughty boy. I forgave him but barely. I have to keep reminding myself that he's still just a puppy. He'll be 10 months old next week. On to his naughtiness; I got a new pair of glasses less than a month before. (you know where this is heading, don't you?) Anyway, earlier this week I had laid them down on the table beside my chair and left them. Mac was sound asleep on the couch (or so I thought) but shortly after I left the room, he magically woke up and found my glasses. He found them all right. I guess he thought they were another playtoy for good ole Mac because he was playing with them. I heard a strange noise and decided I'd better check it out and sure enough, he had something he wasn't supposed to have, my glasses! I must have gasped when I said "Mac, no"! because he immediately opened his mouth and out popped my lenses, one by one and the frames layed there beside him so out of shaped it's a wonder they still looked like frames. Usually when I get on to him about having something he shouldn't have, he just chomps down faster and harder but my reaction must have stunned him because he dropped them immediately. I've been trying to find some humor in this but the humor just isn't ready to come yet. It's strange though, just a couple of years ago, my granddaughter was telling me about the time her puppy got a hold of her other grandpa's false teeth and was carrying them around in his mouth. I thought that was hilarious. I guess it's different when the shoe is on the other foot or in the different mouth. The glasses were fixable and there was just two tiny teeth marks in one of the lenses, in spots that I wouldn't be looking through anyway. He's forgiven and he's even going to get a Christmas present. I thought about giving him coal but he would have just eaten it anyway, thinking it was another toy, so where would be the punishment in that? Mom and Dad have him today and Dad is keeping his glasses up out of his reach. Mom is starting to get paranoid about leaving Mac alone. I wonder why? He's an angel puppy, when he wants to be. Mainly when he's truely asleep.
I'm beeping, so one bag down, more to go.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Being humbled
My chemo went well. No reactions of any kind and I was able to go home at the end of the day. Praise the Lord! Isn't it funny how something that can loom so large in your head can be brought down to size? The Lord is so good, He just takes all your worry and makes it so small you wonder what in the world was the big deal. I even gave myself insulin shots and had no problems with that.
I think I have my hardest lesson yet to learn though. How to take help without falling apart. I must have a lot of pride and God is going to humble me through this. People will want to help and I tell them oh no, I can do it, I can handle it and now I see there are times I need help and it's very humbling to accept and accept graciously. Thankfully, the Lord is with me and He will see me through. This is going to be "beyond myself" for sure.
I think I have my hardest lesson yet to learn though. How to take help without falling apart. I must have a lot of pride and God is going to humble me through this. People will want to help and I tell them oh no, I can do it, I can handle it and now I see there are times I need help and it's very humbling to accept and accept graciously. Thankfully, the Lord is with me and He will see me through. This is going to be "beyond myself" for sure.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Chemo on monday
Monday is looming large in my mind. It's getting really close and the closer it gets, the larger monday gets.
I start back on chemo on monday and it's not the same as in the past. I have gone through all the new chemos they have for me right now and so, I'm going back to an old chemo. I had a severe reaction to it the last time it was given to me. So, I'm going to be put through a desensitization process. ( I can't pronounce that very well, and I don't think I spelled it right, but you know what I mean) The chemo infusion will last approximately 7 hrs. That sounds like a long day to me. Plus, I found out earlier this week that I may need to give myself insulin. I have a small blood sugar problem but with the high doses of steriods I'll be getting, it may become a big problem. The last few days have been spent learning when to give myself insulin and how to give myself insulin. I've got my mind wrapped around that and I can do it. There's only one way I can do it though. With my Father right there beside me. Otherwise, I'm overwhelmed and underequipped. He's been reminding me that there is no where I can go that He won't be there. He goes before me, behind me and shelters me under His wings. That is such a comfort! The thought of being sheltered under His wings is awesome. It just sounds so right and feels even better. I am looking forward to what God will be teaching me through this next challenge. I'm not looking forward to the chemo and the possibility of insulin shots. He has taught me so much but I know I still have a lot more to learn. Praise You Father!
A Mac update. He is doing great. Thankfully he slept a lot when he came home but now he's his usual ornery self. He was just eating a plate and didn't understand why he couldn't keep it. I think maybe I'd better go, he might be eating the couch now. Did I mention he likes to chew?
While we're gone, he's getting to stay with my parents. (They're actually excited about that, we'll see what they think when we get back.)
Love, vicki
I start back on chemo on monday and it's not the same as in the past. I have gone through all the new chemos they have for me right now and so, I'm going back to an old chemo. I had a severe reaction to it the last time it was given to me. So, I'm going to be put through a desensitization process. ( I can't pronounce that very well, and I don't think I spelled it right, but you know what I mean) The chemo infusion will last approximately 7 hrs. That sounds like a long day to me. Plus, I found out earlier this week that I may need to give myself insulin. I have a small blood sugar problem but with the high doses of steriods I'll be getting, it may become a big problem. The last few days have been spent learning when to give myself insulin and how to give myself insulin. I've got my mind wrapped around that and I can do it. There's only one way I can do it though. With my Father right there beside me. Otherwise, I'm overwhelmed and underequipped. He's been reminding me that there is no where I can go that He won't be there. He goes before me, behind me and shelters me under His wings. That is such a comfort! The thought of being sheltered under His wings is awesome. It just sounds so right and feels even better. I am looking forward to what God will be teaching me through this next challenge. I'm not looking forward to the chemo and the possibility of insulin shots. He has taught me so much but I know I still have a lot more to learn. Praise You Father!
A Mac update. He is doing great. Thankfully he slept a lot when he came home but now he's his usual ornery self. He was just eating a plate and didn't understand why he couldn't keep it. I think maybe I'd better go, he might be eating the couch now. Did I mention he likes to chew?
While we're gone, he's getting to stay with my parents. (They're actually excited about that, we'll see what they think when we get back.)
Love, vicki
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